Wow, I haven't wrote to myself for awhile.. I guess I've become too big of a myspace whore to even notice i still had a xanga, well I don't know where Dora went, she ran out last night. It pisses me off that she would do such a thing, but I didn't care so I went to sleep, she could be somewhere, anywhere right now, but all I know is she's not here. Do i miss her?Yeah sure whatever... anyways

The new place is alright, kind of secluded from everyone, but I guess its for the best, give me time to myself and allow me to think about things to myself as well, I'm going to work on some other things in life as I'm waiting.

I can't say too much, I miss a lot of things right now, but what can I really do about it? Hehe... I can't complain, I'm enjoying life more then anything right now, hopefully when my new car comes and school starts, I'll be able to enjoy much more.

I'll be back to write some more...

Darren

dear myself,

you've been quite retarded lately.. falling for a girl that does not meet your expectations, or perhaps just assuming that perhaps she would fall into your arms.. but hey its ok man you make mistakes, its funny how you like somebody and they don't show the same liking back. its like two times in a row... and sadly both times i've failed miserably... oooo i guess its just that i care too much or what not?

its ok life goes on, your talking to new people every day, your concept of life was to meet and explore new things and new faces are exactly what your running into now. maybe your just shy sometimes and don't want to be open to everyone, maybe because you feel that you can be taken advantage of too easily but then again your defense against events like that from happening is still strong.

none the less, Darren... yes I think im crazy for talking to myself but I think writing this helps me release a lot of tension and feelings in this matter. You've been around to see so much, so why settle for less? Aim for the best and time and patience will lead you to the right girl.

Yup, Yup, Yup... take my word for it, if a helpless damsel in distress does not require your assistance then why force her to need your help, she will make your decisions herself and from that point on, you can move on and have little to no distraction from her.

Bingo

one individual made to be something
two eyes to see my life made to something
three strikes and i aint making out to be something

but that aint important to them
they say fucc the misunderstood and let em kill themselves
hell on earth, my soul searchin needs help
i aint going to cry my self to sleep no more
asking myself why gangsters gotta live a hard life
you think it'll be over tommorow but it drags on
kill my enemy today, yet two more kids spawn

endless hate and violence a cycle of no maturing
will i ever find love from my pops for the things he did
growing up to be a man, since everybody else got to kid
missing much in my life,

have you grown tired of the cop sirens
im bleeding internally as i get rich or die tryin
dont give a fuck about the situation put upon me
gives me appearance dates, harass & slap on court fees
thats what they to do when they want to make you tick
cops been lying to me since day 1, turns my stomach sick

tired of work, 40 hours a week, barely time to rest
make it out while we sit and hope for the best
little to look forward to, you wonder why we do so much shit

niggaz dont know me, yet they hate me because of my skin
or becuz its the ways my eyes were born to squint
tired of being your stereotype, you made it a hype

TO MY NIGGAZ WHOS SOUL SEARCHING
SOMETIMES YOU FEEL
LIKE THERE AINT THAT COUNTERPART
BECAUSE SHE AINT ON YO LEVEL
OR SHE JUST DONT WANT TO BOTHER TRYING
WELL NIGGAZ DONT TRIP BECUZ
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WHO HAS A SMILE ON THEY FACE
WHO HAS THEIR ARMS OPEN FOR YOU
THAT WILL BE THE DAY YOU LOOKIN FORWARD TO